So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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