she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
