He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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