If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just cropdusted the office
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
