u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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