We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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