That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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