your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
