omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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