dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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