I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
