Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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