return my video game
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
