i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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