I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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