How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
