brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
