More tranny stories later!
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.