True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.