I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
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You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"