Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I deserve this hangover.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
