I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
