I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
