i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
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What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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