So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the raccoons are back...
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