I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
