butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
