Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
