Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
