I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
