My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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