Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize