I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize