just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize