***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
