I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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