I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
