I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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