After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
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I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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