I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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