I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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