Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
