ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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