next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
