dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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