kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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