It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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