I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
