I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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