It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
