Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
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From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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