I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize