well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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