i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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