Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
