I've blown a few things in my day
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
