bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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